I got into a car accident today.
I was driving down the highway and the car in front of my hit their breaks, I slammed into them.
I’ve been here before, I thought as I calmly put my car in park and turned off the engine.
Placing both hands on my heart I remembered I was alive, I was OK.
The last time I got into a car accident, I could’ve died. My car was totaled. At the time I was living in New York and I wasn’t mentally, physically or emotionally healthy. I was riddled with toxic behaviors and negative self-talk which manifested an undesirable reality.
That day I made the decision to change my life, to drop everything and move to California.
Before my accident this morning I had a whole post planned for today about gratitude. I woke up this morning feeling peaceful and rooted in my faith. I’ve been surrounded by synchronicities lately — divine guidance — and had a serious breakthrough moment last night.
Last night in class I welcomed my three students, all three of whom I’d met from divine synchronicity, with so much love, light and warmth. I allowed myself to sink into who I was, remove the blankets of limitations I had been wearing since my teacher training ended in May.
Facing rejection from my teachers and questioning from strangers, some friends and some family had been weighing heavily on my heart.
And while I had done all of the “right things” before teaching class — meditating, grounding, reiki, preparing a plan, creating a playlist, arriving on time — as I was teaching I was scared. I was self conscious that I wasn’t “doing it right,” or that they wouldn’t resonate with the divine messages pouring out of me.
I was proven wrong at the end of class, showered with positive feedback and love. Not only that but the truly spiritual conversation that followed class between my three students, who had all practically been strangers to one another, and myself was a divine message in itself that I’m truly grateful for.
I spoke to my partner after class about how I was feeling and I realized that it was not only lack of gratitude for my current situation, but fear-based emotions and insecurities that had been following me through. I remembered in that moment, that I was enough. That this was my journey, my mission and my purpose. That teaching these beautiful souls was my calling.
I remembered how I felt the day I crashed my car for the first time and decided to move here. I remembered how I felt the day I fainted and woke up with a concussion on a concrete floor, and how I felt that evening in the MRI machine when I decided I’d be a yoga teacher.
I remembered how I felt when I met Ariel, a traumatic brain injury survivor and visually impaired yoga teacher following my concussion, someone who has become one of my best friends and guides on my journey.
I remembered how I felt when I began opening up to those around me, creating friendships and partnerships, receiving support and love from family, allowing myself to trust my teachers, guides and relationship with God.
I remembered how my intuition brought me there, to that studio space I share with an absolute angel, that studio space on Main Street in downtown La Jolla, that studio space I can call my own for a few hours a week.
I remembered my gift and my offering of the gift of yoga and spiritual connection that I can now pass along to whoever comes into my space.
I remembered the look on my students faces after class, the ease in their steps, the lightness in their frames.
And I felt truly truly grateful.
I wasn’t going to post today, I had planned on taking the day completely off from social media.
But as this message came to me I realized someone may need to hear it.
If you’re still reading know that you are a beautiful soul on a beautiful mission. You can’t control everything that happens to you but you must remember everything happens for a reason. You are here to live a beautiful life and everything you desire is here for you. Every bump in the road, every perceived roadblock is not meant to hurt you, it’s meant to place you on the right path.
Do I know what the hell I’m going to do about my car? Absolutely not. But what I do know is I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, nourishing food in my belly, a healthy mind, body and spirit; beautifully healthy and balanced relationships with those around me, love in my heart and the wisdom, knowledge and courage to help others.
That to me is worth more than any car or material good.